Two down.. Three to go..

With 3 more papers to go next week, i wont let go of any chance to slack around.. Here I am again.. 

Have you ever wondered how its like to be in heaven? Have you ever wished that you could say "I don't give a damn.." and just levitate away and catch some fresh air in the clouds? I can tell you that i have been there, I have actually been to heaven, and here is a photo I managed to take just before my ability to levitate ran out..

However.. The air in heaven ain't that fresh and nice as you think it should be.. Out of curiosity, i asked a flying by angel, "I thought the air in haven should smell like 'heaven', what's that weird smell?" That hot pretty angel told me, "Hey charming, you came the wrong time.. Some angel workers are fogging our area, there seems to be alot of mosquitoes dying down there and ended up here lately. Have you guys been killing alot of em lately?" I opened my mouth but didn't managed to say anything when I start falling back to ground.

Hmm.. I guess mosquitoes do have their life after death too.. So, to all of you out there, who dislike mosquitoes as much as everyone else do, stop making their wish to go to heaven come true.. Let them suck some sip of your blood before swapping them.. Otherwise, they will all end up in heaven.. After all, you don't wanna go to a heaven full of mosquitoes flying around do you?

Some kind of crap..

Good luck to all of you having exam..

The Story of Ah Singh

For all of you who are still studying, here's something to let you relax and catch some air after hours of suffocating studies.. Malaysians should have no problem understanding this joke, for those who don find it funny.. I dunno how can I help you..

It is called..

THE STORY OF AH SINGH

What do you call:

1. A Singh who is a sailor?

>Karpal Singh

2. A Singh who attends Chinese wedding party?

>Yam Singh

3. A Singh who is digging a hole?

>Menggali Singh

4. A Singh who likes to slap people?

>Tau Ba Singh

5. A Singh who is a gangster?

>SamSingh

6. A Singh who is lost?

>MisSingh

7. A Singh who is noisy?

>BisSingh

8. A singh who likes herbs?

>Gin Singh

9. A Singh who kils people?

>AssaSingh

10. A Singh with one ball?

>BalwantSingh (Ball One Singh)

11. A Singh with two balls?

>BalanSingh (as in balancing)

12. A Singh with three balls??

>AMAZING!!!

13. A Singh who is swimming in an iced pool?

>KuldipSingh (Cold Deep Sink)

14. A Singh who likes to drink soyabean milk?

>YeohHupSingh

15. A Singh who owns a ship that sank?

>No lah, not Titanic Singh. He's KaramSingh

16. A Singh who was sacked from the national hockey team?

>RelaxSingh

17. A Singh who is a lausy Singh?

>OwtarSingh

18. A Singh who likes roundabout?

>PuSingh

19. A Singh who is flying around a broom?

>Sou Pah Singh

20. A Singh who is a three-star general?

>Sam Lap Singh (Cantonese)

21. If the Sikhs were to suceed in forming their own country, what will they call their currency?

>. Mata Wang Ah Singh

22. Finally, what do you call a Singh who likes to scold people?

>TiewNiaSingh

I hope you guys enjoy this..

Good Luck in exams..

Later..

Butt & Face

Here's something i would like to share with you guys. I was too bored studying and decided to surf the web and here's what i accidentally bumped into.. I am impressed how people actually came up with these kind of things.. 

Brace yourselves... for one of the lamest yet most shockening fact unknown to mankind..

BUTT FACE SOAP

Did you ever wonder why they bother to add scents to soap? You know -- scents like "lilac morning" or "grapefruit splash" or "evening dew" - those kind of smells?

Soap companies don't want you to know, but here's the ugly reason... They do it so you won't notice how disgusting the soap smells once you've washed your butt.

Studies show that 93% of people begin their showers by soaping the lower regions and working upwards. That means that 9 out of 10 people rub something against their face that, only moments earlier, was gliding and probing where the sun don't shine.

So now you know... The scents are added so you won't realize you're washing your face with tush-tainted soap. But before you puke into your keyboard, check out Butt Face Soap. This brilliant cleanser solves the problem by clearly defining which side of the soap is for the face, and which side is for the butt.

The words BUTT and FACE are clearly molded into the sides of the soap. And, to make sure there's no confusion, the Butt side of the soap is brown. Crude? You bet. But it gets the job done.

Now that you know the dark secret behind soap scents, how can you possibly return to your old soap habits? For your next shower, switch to Butt Face Soap - And when it comes time to wash your face, fear not and breathe deeply. (just make sure you're sniffing the right side)

Terrific.. Now Imma continue my studies..

Later..

Toilet Paper Effect

Its just great..  After not updating my blog for like 2 months, I finally decided to post something.. 

Its not that i have anything special happening around besides the lame o daily uni life thatgave me the sudden incentive to post something up here, its just that after spending 5 minutes in the toilet doing the usual business, i realized something..

Have you ever noticed that when you are using toilet paper, the closer you gets to the end, the faster it goes.. Life is just like a roll of toilet paper.. Right, I mean "TOILET PAPER"! The closer you come to your life's end, the faster your life goes away.. We always wish that we can have more time, can have a second chance, but unfortunately for us, we don have the ability to bend and stop time and we cannot play god.. Life is a one shot game will only one bullet for every choice.. Think wisely before making any decision and if you feel like doing something, just do it, before you run out of toilet paper! Use you toilet paper wisely, once you tear it off, there's no sticking it back.. Great.. Thats my realization of the day, hope that one day when I'm long gone, the Toilet Paper Effect will be widespread all around the world..

Thats all for this long awaited post.. My toilet paper is running out.. Until we meet again..

My name is Steam

It has been some time..

Two weeks ago when i was looking at a friends blog, I saw my own status -- steam (last updated - 5 weeks ago).. Up until now i think it will be 7 weeks sharp, which reminds me the last time i updated my blog was the last time i swept my floor. Dust kept thickening themselves on every immovable furniture and untouchable places, even the floor has been covered but a thin layer of particles. Have you ever imagined the walkway outside your room would be cleaner and you would rather sleep on the floor outside than making any direct skin contact with your room floor? That's exactly how i feel now. Lucky for me my loyal slipper accompanied me everywhere i go in my room, I really salute the person who invented slippers. Maybe slippers were invented to replace brooms and mops. Lucky for me too my roommate is not those squeky clean, dust allergic type. Since the 1st week, we have been talking about buying a broom and mop, which we ended up buying the popular 'Air Wick' to camouflage our room just in case anyone happens to step into our room, they will at least be deceived by the nice sweet smell in the air.

Why update my blog once in two full moons? There is actually a hell lot of things i wanna share, and i have a hell lot of time to waste, eveytime i logged in to my blog, my mind gets 'BLOG' and the next thing that happens is the mouse pointer pointing at the close window button. This is just the beggining of my 7 days recess week. I will update you guys whatever happens in the following days.. Hope so..

Thats all for now. I think I'm gonna buy a broom tomorrow..

Orientation talk..

"You come in just a common guy wearing slippers, you leave as somebody having a tie, coat, and wearing shoes". What a great ending speech..

Today was the first time i saw soooooo many new students under one roof in my life.. I was told that the lecturer theater can accomodate around 2500 to 3000 ppl at one time.. And when i knew the talk was going on there I was thinking that it will be impossible to fill up this whole space in one blow..

Have u ever wondered why lecture theatres were designed in a hemisphere? Have you even wondered for bigger halls, what can they do to make sure students sitting at the uppermost end can have a crystal clear view of whats displayed up in front?

The solution in by placing one gigantic screen in the middle of the front stage, two medium size screens at each side of the gigantic screen, which is commonly seen in normal halls.. But that doesn't solve the visibility problem for those sitting high up. To solve that, five screens which were retractable to back into the ceiling were built, surrounding the highe part of the hall.. Therefore adding all of the numbers together, we get 8 screens in a lecture theatre that fits in 2000 ppl..

some problem occured when this picture was taken therefore

it only shows 4 hanging screen.

Next up is the library. The first time i stepped into the library and looked down, something popped out of my mind. It sure looks like a cyber cafe.. Endless rows of computer can be seen from the main entrance. This is the view of the basement from ground floor.

Showing half of it only, there is actually another half of it on the left side..

Thats all for today. By the way this was actually yesterday's post. Can't finish it in time last night.

What a school...

MY fm..

It's kinda pathetic when I come the think that the last time I listened to the radio or watched tv was like a week ago.. Time has passed since then and my brain has lost contact to the outside world day by day.. I told myself, it's high time for me to listen to my homecountry news, and find out what happened these few days.. Thus, here I am, streaming through Malaysia's most well knowed chinese radio station, My Fm..

So here I am again, starting to realize that there are more things to do with internet connection with incredible speed.. Since the first day i stayed here, my biological clock has changes.. I started to shift my life from living a daytime life to a nocturnal life.. I start to sleep at 1.00 and wake up at 8.00 morning.. One of the factor contributing to this delay of slepp time is the rise and fall of he sun.. I realised that i will only wake up when my skin detects the u.v. rays coming from the rising sun.. Unfortunately for me, the sun here rises around one hour later than in East Malaysia, therefore my wake up time has been delayed from 7 in the morning to 8.. Consequently my sleeping hours also delayed an hour..

Here I am, ending up listening to MY fm at this hour of time.. Counting down the minutes to my dreams..

Singapore.. So near but yet so far..

Awaken by the chirping birds outside my room and the refreshing Sunday morning breeze, it's time to start another day. Today i went downtown to have a walk around bringing nothing but my bag containg my passport, a water bottle and some cash. Noramally back in Malaysia, if you are new to a place and you ain't taking taxi to your destination, a tour guide must be present or at least a map can come in handy so that you can find your way home before midnight; but things here works slightly differently, as long as you have the energy and stamina, you can basically walk all around from place to place by yourself, without asking help from anyone. But of course, basic english is important so that you can read the signboards all around. Getting lost here is literally impossible..

One thing about Singapore is there are shopping malls everywhere.. Walking down the streets of Singapore, all you see are malls... malls... and even more malls... Stepping into on of the hundreds of malls with take you to never ending corridors of shops.. Here, everthing is branded, from the fashion shops, to the restaurants and kopitiam.. from brands we see only in some high class malls back in kk like Esprit, Giordano, Baleno... to brands that only exists as a myth in my mind like French Connection, Levi Strauss Signature, any many more which names i have forgotten, you can litterally find brands which is only available in kk at 1 Borneo in every shopping mall here.. For those who enjoy shopping, here is the perfect place for you to be.. Just to let you know there is a sale going on here and everywhere i go i can see banners, posters, papers haging at the glass door that read " Up to 70% Discount", "50 % Discount Storewide" "$6 for ANY TOPS".. And there's a significant difference in the sales going on here compared back in Malaysia.. If you have noticed, Malaysia's sales normally starts counting from 20%, 30% and if you get real lucky you may hit a shop with 70% discount going on, but whats the point of sales if wherever you go you just can't find the right size for your shirt, pants or shoes.. Discount here starts from 50% and the best thing is you can be sure to find your size.. Oh I forgot to mention that even the toilet bowls and water taps are branded.. What the hell..

When we finally found our way out of the interconnecting networks of shopping complexes, we saw a gigantic round frame in our front direction with capsules sticking out of it in every 10 metre gap.. It was the famous Singapore Flyer ( I didnt know its name until i got there and saw the signboard).

Singapore Flyer - from up close

We took a ride in it.. The whole place looks and feels like an aiport to me.. Our ride is actually call flight.. Now i know how it got it's name..

After a breathtaking 45 minutes ride up there - which should be more beautiful if flying at night, I had a dreamy feeling when stepping right back on solid ground.. Suddenly everything from all around seems to fall back in place.. While up there you just feel like you're umpama tuhan, with everthing below you..

After that we walked all our way to one of the most famous landmarks in Singapore, we call it the durian since we don't know its actual name.. I doubted whether to call it that way since the name seems to downgrade the class of that building.. Its actually used for exhibition purposes and other functions which im not sure about..

The Durian... I felt sorry for the name...

And following up next is another landmarks known far back in time before we were born and when our parents were still teenagers.. The Merlion.. For you guys who never heard of it and now wondering what in the world is a merlion, lets take a look at the picture below..

The Merlion..

Lets think about it like this, a MERMAID is a biological combination between a MER...which stands for fish, and a MAID... which stands for a women.. For those who have read Harry Potter - The Goblet of Fire, the term MERPEOPLE should be very familiar.. Its a genetic combination between, again a MER and PEOPLE.. which stand for us, homo sapiens to be specific.. Next up, whats a MERLION.. You guessed right its a fish and a lion.. Good job figuring out.. This statue sucks up endless suplly of seawater from below and spits it out from its lion mouth in a powerful stream of water.. I actually got sprinkles of water wetting my shirt from this far away..

Ending this one day self guided tour around downtown Singapore, we took a ten minutes walk to the nearest MRT station which is underground and sat down there, waiting for the next train to arrive.. I'm starting to feel some muscle cramps on both of my foot and i can actually fell the muscles of my legs generating and stiffing these few days.. After half a year, I wonder how fit would my legs be.. It's a good experience though, we should think of having a class trip to Singapore if you guys wanna shop rather than going to KL.. Things here aren't so expensive after all..

Here comes the train.. One and a half hours until i reach home..

Singapore.. So near but yer so far..

My first blog

First of all I wanna thank you for willing to waste your precious time visiting my blog. When we get unlimited internet access, the first thing that pop up in most of our minds is "Hooray, I get to watch as much videos and songs as I like." When we start to feel sick of low def youtube videos and song which can be listen but cant be own, our greed starts to kick in, why not download them so that instead of watching texturized faces and hearing blurred voices, i can watch them in HD. Here's the problem in Singapore, piracy is a strict crime, according to out S3 Ren Secretary Chong Ann Nee (now known as Anne in her office in Jurong), using a non genuine windows in your laptop can make you lose SGD10000, which means that I'm in constamt danger. Back to the point, in a country where piracy (only allowed in Malaysia) is considered a crime, and even littering is considered a serious oofence, you will start to think that what will happen if i got caught, I'm in such a small country, where can I hide myself in case I came into some problem.. So there goes unlimited download..
Thats all, the only thing left to do with this internet is blogging, which is the last thing i do. So here I am, posting my fisrt blog, writing nothing but rubbish.
I was actually expecting myself to post something about my life here today, but my condition now is not so good so i think thats all for today..
until we meet again..