FLASH MODE

Spent my last few days waking up every morning predicting that today will be just like yesterday, the day before, and the day before, and the day before.. and it goes on..

Used to have surprises every morning, where you will call me every morning to wake me up. Now, the only surprise i get every morning when i wake up is 'WTF!! SO LATE ALREADY AH!!'

However when the irritating sound of the never ending alarm from my phone annoys the hell out of me this morning, I get a special surprise I get on this particular day of the week. "WTF!! FRIDAY ALREADY AH!1' And there goes one more week.

I do feel happy being able to wake up every Friday morning. I have a special love for Fridays, just like how other people have a special hatred for Mondays. Fridays are like a counter to me. It reminds to be grateful and feel lucky that I am able to live happily and healthily for another week. It reminds me that after today, its another week gone and I'm getting another week closer to finishing my semester.

Wait a minute..... Did I just say another week gone? WTF!!!! There goes another week and I didn't manage to do anything last week! In fact, I hadn't been doing anything since the start of the semester. I wake up, eat breakfast, go lectures, eat lunch, go lectures, eat dinner,back room, talk and sleep. Can't seem to find anything important, anything meaningful in my everyday routine. SHIT!! I wasted my time doing nothing except for wasting oxygen and wasting money. I didn't even study for my subjects! I'm not gonna continue on like this making my youth go to waste (although everybody's youth is has became a waste since the stupid education system has been introduce. Screw those who invented the education system!). I'm not gonna just sit around letting my face and my skin grow older and older although I know there's nothing I get to do about that. I never did anything significant anything meaningful and anything proud enough in my life to be able to stand up high and say "I'm more successful than you are!"

Gosh.. If you want me to think of something to describe my life, I will say that my life is like a broken record. Yes, the broken record you see in those old school movies that keeps on repeating itself over and over again. In modern English, I'll say that its like a pirated cd. It starts perfectly and plays perfectly during the first few minutes. And after a song or two, it starts to skip some sections of the song. And when you get lucky, you get to listen to a whole part of the song repeating itself over..... and over.................... and over...................... and over again............... My life now is just like the corrupted part. It keeps in repeating itself until hell knows when.. Damn I really am useless.. At least people get to spend their time doing things they like to do. I cant even find a thing I like to do.
I feel like a rock in the middle of a desert........ It's sand everywhere. I just cant see something around that fits with me.
If I continue on writing like this, I'm gonna open my window and jump off.

So back to the topic of wasting my youth. I somehow decided that if I'm gonna let my skin grow old and let my hair grow long and waste my time, I might as well waste the time at studying. it's not that I have decided to work hard. I can't even be bothered to study for results. I just think that if I'm gonna waste my time sitting around clicking on books which have a face on it, I might as well just spend some time on real books since exam is just right around the corner.

It's just like suicide. If you have already decided to jump off from the roof on the 20th storey, and the edge is just right around the corner, you might as well stab yourself in the chest with a knife and let gravity pull your unconscious body spraying blood from your still beating heart on every window on your way down. That way, you can spend your time enjoying the pain in your chest and at the same time have 20 storey of time to flash back on your life.
It's called dying a graceful death.
And before you realize whats happening, everything will end in a FLASH.

I hereby declare my FLASH MODE on.

it starts and ends in a flash